I taught him! I thought I knew him!
by Possum132
Summary: Perspectives from Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin and Horace Slughorn on the awful event that took place on the ramparts of the Astronomy Tower. No Snape POV, but everyone is thinking of him. Follow up to Dumbledore was pretty firm with him.
1. Chapter 1: Minerva McGonagall

**I taught him! I thought I knew him!**

_This can be read as a stand-alone fic, but if you read the prequels "Why Snape never eats here", "Malice in his voice", "Threesome at Spinner's End" and "Dumbledore was pretty firm with him" and the sequels "Well done, Draco, well done" and "Power the Dark Lord knows not" you will get a better feel for the particular version of the Potterverse in which this story is set._

**Chapter 1: Minerva**

Severus has got all the Death Eaters out of the castle, it's not quite clear what happened, she supposes that he must have had to go with them, to keep his cover. But why hadn't he been able to warn them of the attack? She's sure that he hadn't known they were coming, he hadn't known there were Death Eaters in the castle until Filius told him. She wonders – does Voldemort _know_? Does he know that Severus is a spy? Doesn't he trust Severus any more? But Hagrid has said something about Severus being involved in Albus' death – Harry was there, he told Hagrid – it's very confusing, she needs to speak to Harry directly to sort out what happened. Meanwhile, she's given orders that everyone is to go up to the Hospital Wing, and she's gone to see Albus' body, she won't believe that he's really dead until she's seen the body herself. Even with the evidence of the body it's hard to believe it – Voldemort's Death Eaters have killed the greatest wizard of modern times, but how? Not even Voldemort could do it, though he tried hard enough in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic. Albus' right hand was getting _worse_, not better, but even so … how could Voldemort's servants have done what he could not do himself?

She thinks, I've been teaching at Hogwarts for forty years, but I've never wanted this, I've never wanted to be Headmistress, I've always thought Severus would be Headmaster after Albus. One day when Voldemort was gone and Albus was ready to retire, I thought Severus would be Headmaster, the first Slytherin Headmaster since Phineas Nigellus – if the Board of Governors and the Ministry could overlook his past, if they could overlook the Dark Mark branded on his arm.

Then she hears Fawkes singing his lament and she knows that it's true, really knows, in her heart and not just in her head … Albus is dead, at the hand of one of Voldemort's Death Eaters. She thinks, will Albus be remembered only as Voldemort's greatest victim, and not as the mighty wizard who defeated Grindelwald? Oh, Voldemort is truly evil, but compared to Grindelwald, his ambitions are puny – he only wants to be the Minister for Magic, and to terrorise the Muggles a little! Grindelwald's malice against the Muggles was so great, he whipped them up to fight against each other with such violence they might have exterminated each other, she's read Muggle books about their version of the war against Grindelwald, they died at the rate of fifty thousand a day during the six awful years of their war. Muggles may not have magic, but they have horrific ways of killing each other, it took powerful wards to protect a wizard's home during the Blitz. What a pity a Muggle bomb didn't hit Tom Riddle's orphanage …

She remembers Tom Riddle from her own school days, shudders to think that the intelligent, charming, handsome boy she'd once yearned after has turned into the monster Voldemort, but she thinks, even he is not so mad as to believe that all the Muggles can be killed. No, Voldemort isn't mad, he's quite chillingly rational, the Muggles are just pawns in his plan, he lets his Death Eaters kill and torture them for fun but they're not his serious targets, unlike Grindelwald. Oh dear, it's a good thing the Muggles don't know how their world was nearly destroyed by the malevolence of one mad wizard and his followers, and the indifference of the rest …

Harry, Ron and Hermione – even Remus – can have no idea what it was like for her, growing up in the shadow of Grindelwald, growing up during the most terrible flare-up that has ever swept this ball of mud on which we live. And who knows how long the storm would have raged, how horrible it would have become, if Albus hadn't intervened? Even now, there are some in the Ministry who think – _thought_ – him a Muggle-loving old fool. So many wizards pay no attention to Muggle affairs, don't realise how dependent the wizarding world is on the Muggles, good lord there are sixty million Muggles in Britain, and how many wizards? Ten thousand?

The Ministry of Magic had done nothing until Grindelwald's disruption of the Muggle world started to hurt them, until the trickle of refugees from the Continent became a flood, and even then they'd done precious little to help the Muggles. It was Albus who ended the madness, it was Albus who sought out Grindelwald, defeated him, captured him – Albus would never have used an Unforgiveable Curse. How ironic it was that Grindelwald had killed himself in prison rather than face trial, with the Muggle tools of a rope and a chair! And it was Albus who had insisted on opening up a channel of communications between the Ministry and the Muggle Prime Minister of the day … Oh, the Ministry has always taken Voldemort seriously, he's a British Dark wizard who wants to be the Minister for Magic, not a foreigner who only threatens Muggles!

She thinks, Albus, it was nearly sixty years ago but I will never forget what you did for the Muggles, I will never forget what you did in the war against Grindelwald, and with the phoenix's song in her ears she walks into the Hospital Wing to deal with Bill Weasley.

Ron, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Nymphadora and Remus are gathered around Bill's bed, "Molly and Arthur are on their way," she says, and they rouse themselves as if from a trance.

She turns to Harry. "Harry, what happened? According to Hagrid you were with Professor Dumbledore when he – when it happened. He says Professor Snape was involved in some …"

Harry replies, "Snape killed Dumbledore," and her world falls apart.

She stares at Harry for a moment, then sways as if she might faint. Poppy conjures a chair and pushes it under her just in time.

"Snape," she repeats weakly, falling into the chair. "We all wondered … but he trusted … always … _Snape_ … I can't believe it …"

Severus killed Albus? But Albus trusted Severus, trusted Severus completely! She remembers when Albus first told her that Severus had been a Death Eater, it was just after the fall of Voldemort, Severus' behaviour had been so odd, most people had celebrated wildly, even those who had been Lily and James' friends – and heaven knows, Severus was no friend of James – but Severus had locked himself in the dungeons and according to the house elves he'd smashed them up rather badly. Eventually Albus had been forced to break the wards and go in and get him out, she doesn't know what passed between them, but Severus has never been quite the same since.

She'd been shocked to learn that there was a Death Eater under the roof of Hogwarts, but not really surprised to hear that Severus Snape had gone to the bad, given who his friends were and his notorious interest in the Dark Arts, it would have been more surprising if he hadn't. But Albus had assured her that Severus had rejoined their side before Voldemort's downfall and turned spy for the Order at great personal risk, and she'd known that Albus had a number of useful sources of information. And Severus had knuckled down and worked hard, sour and sarcastic as he was, he didn't shirk his duties, his students usually did well in their OWLs and NEWTs, and he was an exemplary Head of House, he might favour his Slytherins in public but in private he was strict with them, and nothing happened in the Slytherin common room or dormitories that he didn't know about. So she'd got used to having him around and well, she couldn't say that she actually _liked_ him, but she didn't dislike him and she certainly respected him, he'd been a tower of strength to Albus since the trouble with Quirrell and the Philosopher's Stone.

She thinks, I would have sworn that Severus was devoted to Albus, I know he hated Umbridge as much as I did, he just managed to conceal it better than I could, and I've sat through umpteen years of staff meetings, umpteen years of watching the two of them together, and Severus never hid how much he liked it when Albus would come into the room, stand behind his chair, and put his hand on Severus' shoulder. To tell the truth, it had annoyed her slightly, how he gloated over the attention that Albus gave him, she'd think, a little spitefully, really, Severus, if you had a tail you'd wag it … and Harry's arrival at Hogwarts really put Severus' nose out of joint, the idea was ridiculous but he almost acted as if he were _jealous_ of Albus' affection for the boy. It's unbelievable, impossible, that Severus would raise wand or hand against Albus, but Harry wouldn't lie, it must be true …

"Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens," Remus says, harshly. "We always knew that."

"But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!" whispers Nymphadora. "I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn't …"

She thinks, Albus wouldn't tell me, he wouldn't tell _anyone_ why he trusted Severus. And Severus – well, he was always difficult, she hadn't envied Horace having Severus in his House, talented boy though he was. She will never forget that ugly incident in the corridor outside her classroom in his first week at Hogwarts, when Severus had disarmed Sirius Black, and Sirius had lost his temper, tried to punch Severus, and Severus had smashed every bone in Sirius' right arm and hand - so badly that Poppy had needed to remove them and re-grow them with Skele-Gro – with a bone-breaking curse that she'd only ever read about herself. Why oh why couldn't he have just scuffled with Sirius, Muggle-style, like any normal boy? His family background was unhappy, and the old scandal involving the Prince family had to be taken into account, but why did Severus have to react to every little provocation so aggressively, why did he have to feud so relentless with the Marauders? And Severus had grown up to be a very wild boy indeed, as wild as Sirius Black, but without Sirius' easy charm, the kind of wild boy that foolish, loving girls like that little Hufflepuff, Florence - what was her name again? – thought that they could tame.

She thinks, and _that_ has been a perennial problem, every year some girl gets a crush on him, some clever sensitive girl who's read too many fatuous Muggle romances and fancies herself playing Jane Eyre to his Mr Rochester, I'd be a little worried about Hermione Granger, I know that she admires his intellect, if it wasn't so clear that she and Ronald Weasley are meant for each other, and Severus has always been so quelling towards her. Yes, Severus can be trusted with the female students, but not with the staff, his behaviour towards every good-looking young female staff member foolish enough to be attracted to him has been abominable, and I don't know what he gets up to on those weekends when he slips away from Hogwarts, but it's something unsavoury ... oh, Severus Snape is definitely not a _nice_ person and Albus knew it, but Albus was convinced of his loyalty, Albus was very sharp with Sirius when he said that he didn't believe that Severus had reformed, very sharp with him for provoking Severus in the kitchen at Headquarters last year.

She begins to weep when she remembers poor Sirius, unjustly accused of betraying the Potters, unjustly imprisoned in Azkaban for twelve years, Sirius had been right about Severus, but Albus wouldn't listen to a word that Sirius had to say on the subject of Severus.

"He always hinted that he had an iron-clad reason for trusting Snape," she mutters, dabbing at the corners of her leaking eyes with a tartan-edged handkerchief. "I mean … with Snape's history … of course people were bound to wonder … but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape's repentance was absolutely genuine … wouldn't hear a word against him."

"I'd love to know what Snape told him to convince him," says Nymphadora.

"I know," says Harry, and she turns to stare at him, as do the others. "Snape passed Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down my mum and dad. Then Snape told Dumbledore that he hadn't realised what he was doing, he was really sorry he'd done it, sorry they were dead."

She thinks, Albus believed _that_? Severus hated James, if anything he hated James more than he hated Sirius … and Remus puts her thoughts into words.

"And Dumbledore believed that?" Remus says incredulously. "Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape _hated_ James …"

Harry has more to say, "And he didn't think my mother was worth a damn, either … because she was Muggle-born … 'Mudblood', he called her."

She thinks, oh yes, I heard about that ugly little incident, during the OWLs, I had words with Remus about that, as a prefect he should have never allowed things to go that far, it wasn't good enough that he finally stepped in and stopped James from taking Severus' underpants off. It wasn't like Severus to insult a girl, though, and he and Lily seemed to get on well enough when Horace teamed them together for the NEWTs, and come to think of it, the only girl he ever hexed was Bertha Jorkins and we all know why he did that, the nasty gossip she spread about Severus and Florence and what they were doing together behind the greenhouses …

And then she thinks, is that why he did it? Did Severus nurse such a grudge against the Marauders that he would wait twenty years for revenge? Did he join Voldemort and play the spy for so many years just to get revenge for schoolboy pranks? Though to be fair that unfortunate business in the Shrieking Shack was more than a prank, she and Albus had agonised for hours about it, Sirius had behaved very badly indeed, but if the truth had come out, it wouldn't have just been expulsion for Remus, it would have been worse, it would have been execution. A werewolf who attacks a wizard forfeits all rights and comes under the jurisdiction of the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures, and Remus didn't deserve that, but Severus hadn't seen it that way, he'd been convinced that all three of them were in on it, it wasn't just Sirius' idea of a joke - and he has never forgotten it, from the look he gets on his face whenever anyone comments on how Harry looks just like James, with Lily's eyes, and the way he'd treated Remus the year that Remus taught Defence Against the Dark Arts, and from what Molly and Arthur have told her, if he'd duelled with Sirius last year in the kitchen at Headquarters, it wouldn't have been hexes in the corridors, it would have been to the death.

She remembers when she came back to Hogwarts to teach - when her Quidditch career ended, when her marriage ended – it was like coming home, coming back to the school where she'd been so happy. But Severus didn't look like he was coming home, that day in the staff-room when all the teachers had been introduced to the new Potions Master, he looked like he was in hell … and it's a thought that has troubled her before. Dear god, could Severus really have been so unhappy here?

"This is all my fault," she says, suddenly, looking disorientated, twisting her wet handkerchief in her hands. "My fault. I sent Filius to fetch Snape tonight, I actually sent for him to come and help us! If I hadn't alerted Snape to what was going on, he might never have joined forces with the Death Eaters. I don't think he knew they were here before Filius told him, I don't think he knew they were coming."

But what she's really thinking is that it's her fault for not keeping stricter watch over the Marauders, she was their Head of House and she should have kept them under more control, Sirius should never have thought for a minute that he could get away with something like that, something so monumentally stupid. The reckless, thoughtless boy! Far too often his charm and good looks - and the aristocratic Black name - got him out of trouble, it was no wonder that he'd thought he could do no wrong, it was disturbing to remember how unrepentant he'd been. Charm and good looks … Severus has never had those, and his family were nothing to be proud of, Muggles and criminals, he had to keep his half-blood origins a secret from his own House.

She thinks, if I had been firmer with the Marauders, it wouldn't have happened, and perhaps Severus wouldn't have joined Voldemort … but Remus says something that breaks this painful train of thought, "It isn't your fault, Minerva. We all wanted more help, we were glad Snape was on his way …"

She thinks, stop tormenting yourself, Minerva, not even Albus could fathom the mind of that cunning treacherous Slytherin snake, he fooled even Albus, Merlin alone knows how. This past year Albus wouldn't leave the castle unless he knew Severus would be here, in case this very thing happened, and I sent for Severus at once, just as Albus instructed me to do. Damn you, Severus Snape, you fooled Albus, and you fooled me, too, I thought you were actually pleased to see me when I got out of St Mungo's last year!


	2. Chapter 2: Remus Lupin

**Chapter 2: Remus**

He thinks, why didn't Severus warn us about this attack? He's supposed to be our spy, isn't he? Is Voldemort on to him? No, if he was, Severus would be dead by now ... and then he thinks, thank god Greyback attacked Bill, thank god he didn't attack one of the children, I know how much Greyback loves kids, and how much it would upset Albus if one of his students had been attacked ... Albus and Severus will be here soon, between them they might be able to do something for Bill, Albus is the greatest wizard in the world, and only Voldemort could know more than Severus about Dark magic. He imagines Albus standing by the bed, grave and concerned, and Severus standing behind Albus, looking like a great overgrown bat, scowling with contempt, he knows from bitter experience just how much Severus hates werewolves, and he knows what Severus thinks - he should have killed Fenrir Greyback by now, he won't get anywhere with the werewolves unless he becomes the leader of the pack.

And what was young Draco Malfoy up to? Draco seems to be mixed up in this in some way, what if Greyback has bitten _him_, Severus is going to be really angry if Greyback has attacked one of his precious Slytherins. He remembers the awful night when he forgot to take his potion, the night that _he_ nearly attacked three young Gryffindors, the night that Wormtail escaped to join his master, the night they'd lost the opportunity to clear Sirius' name, all because he couldn't handle Sirius and Severus being at each other's throats again - he hadn't had the courage to revive Severus, he'd taken the easy way out, yet again, and it had cost them so much.

He wonders, for the thousandth time, why was Severus in such a hurry to get to the Shrieking Shack? Severus knew he hadn't taken the Wolfsbane Potion, if Severus had waited just a little while, waited until he'd transformed, Severus would have had the satisfaction of knowing that one of James Potter's best friends had killed his son, the satisfaction of knowing that Albus was wrong to trust his tame werewolf. He thinks, not for the first time, Albus has two tame monsters, his werewolf and his Death Eater, and I know what's in Severus' Ministry file, he's quite capable of taking on a werewolf, he's not sixteen any more, and the _Avada Kedavra_ will kill a werewolf just as dead as a Muggle's silver bullet, he didn't rush to the Shrieking Shack because he was afraid to face me in my transformed state.

He thinks, was Severus just in a hurry to get his hands on Sirius, or did he really care about his students, did he really care about Harry, Ron and Hermione? Severus is such a nasty bastard to Harry, he just can't seem to be able to get over how much Harry looks like James ... but he remembers the day that Severus found Harry alone with him in his office, the day that he pretended that he was showing his Grindylow to Harry. He remembers how furious Severus had been, how his sensitive werewolf's nose had picked up the rank smell of anger, aggression and suspicion, even stronger than at the start of term feast, even stronger that at the first staff meeting he'd attended. He curses his sense of smell, it gets worse with every transformation, it wasn't such a problem when he was a boy but now it's an affliction, a constant reminder of what he is, and it tells him more than he wants to know, especially about Tonks, darling Tonks, who is standing right next to him. Surely Tonks can't still want him, she won't want him now, not now that she's seen what Greyback has done, now that she's seen what a werewolf can do.

He remembers that first staff meeting, the year that he taught Defence Against the Dark Arts. Filius had whispered in his ear, just as he was about to sink into a low armchair, "I wouldn't sit there if I were you, that's Severus' chair," and a minute later Severus had swept into the staff-room, black robes billowing, flung himself into the chair, and glared at him. He was used to almost everyone who knew that he was a werewolf smelling faintly of fear, but Severus didn't smell of fear, if he closed his eyes he could almost imagine there was another wolf in the room, a wolf raging with fury, a wolf ready to tear his throat out, a wolf ready to defend his territory, his pack and his cubs. Albus had walked into the room, stood behind Severus' chair, rested his hand on Severus' shoulder, smiled at him apologetically, and Severus had given him a look that said, plain as day, things have changed around here, I'm his favourite now, and if you try to come between us, werewolf, you're dead meat. He'd realized then, Severus will never forgive me, he'll never forget the times that I stood by and watched what James and Sirius did to him, and hell will freeze over before he ever calls me "Remus".

He sees Harry and Ginny walk through the door, Harry says that he's fine, and everyone's attention switches back to Bill. Harry is asking why the dreadful wounds can't be fixed with a charm, Ron is looking at him, asking him if Bill will be a werewolf, and he tries to comfort them, he tells them that Bill won't be a true werewolf, but the wounds are unlikely to ever heal fully, and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on, but Ron bursts out angrily, he wants to know where Dumbledore is, he might know something that would work.

Ginny says, "Ron – Dumbledore's dead," and his world falls apart.

He looks wildly from Ginny to Harry and when he sees in Harry's face that it's true, he collapses into a chair beside Bill's bed, his hands over his face. Dumbledore is dead, the Headmaster is dead, his protector is dead, the man who let him come to Hogwarts, as a student and as a teacher, is dead. He remembers how he was suspected of being Voldemort's spy, of being the source of information close to the Potters, how people had whispered about him just because he was a werewolf, a Dark creature, and how Albus had stood up for him, had vouched for him, and he thinks ... I mustn't cry, I mustn't cry.

"How did he die?" whispers Tonks. "How did it happen?"

Harry tells them. "Snape killed him. I was there, I saw it. We arrived back on the Astronomy Tower because that's where the Mark was … Dumbledore was ill, he was weak, but I think he realised it was a trap when we heard footsteps running up the stairs. He immobilised me, I couldn't do anything, I was under the Invisibility Cloak – and then Malfoy came through the door and Disarmed him – more Death Eaters arrived – and then Snape – and Snape did it. The Avada Kedavra."

Severus killed Albus? Severus is a traitor, a double-agent? His heart cries out with the horror of it, and he thinks, Severus, what have you _done_? Albus trusted you, he trusted me, and his trust meant everything to me, and I thought his trust meant something to you, too, I thought that if it was possible for someone as twisted and bitter as you are to love anyone, you loved Albus. And he _trusted_ you, no one else did, Mad-Eye and Sirius were the worst … but everyone else wondered, they always wondered … and I wondered too, but I thought that even if you weren't loyal to the cause, you were loyal to Albus, because he _cared_ about you – I think he was the only person in the world who could care about you, you work so hard at being nasty to everyone else.

He thinks, you're an idiot, Severus, you're clever in the same way that Hermione is clever and you've got Slytherin cunning to boot, but you're an _idiot_, why do you always have to sneer and snarl, why do you have to hit out at anyone who tries to get close to you? You could have had Tonks but you threw that away, and now you've thrown your whole life away. Albus gave you a home and a job at Hogwarts for sixteen years, you would have been in Azkaban with Sirius if it hadn't been for Albus! Karkaroff named you as a Death Eater, and he wasn't the first - Mad-Eye told me that - you would have rotted in Azkaban if it hadn't been for Albus, and now you've bitten the hand that fed you, bitten it right off! _Damn you_, Severus, _damn you_, for a lying, sneaking, treacherous Slytherin, Albus trusted you, and because I had faith in Albus' judgment, I trusted you, and I defended you to Mad-Eye, to Sirius, and to Harry.

He remembers Christmas at the Burrow, when Harry had tried to warn them against Severus, and they wouldn't listen, the Christmas when he told Harry that he neither liked nor disliked Severus, and he thinks, that was a lie, and that's not the only lie I've told Harry, I told him that Severus only glimpsed me at the end of the tunnel, it was a lot worse than that but I didn't want Harry to know, I didn't want him to think badly of me. No, I didn't tell Harry what I really thought about Severus, I didn't tell him that what I felt for Severus was pity and fear.

He thinks, I learned the year that I spent teaching here that Severus is even more lonely and friendless than I am, and I was sorry for him, so I kept his secrets even though he didn't keep mine. I didn't tell anyone he was a Death Eater, and I didn't tell anyone where he sneaks off to on the weekends, when he comes back to Hogwarts stinking of London, of sweat, stale whisky, filthy Muggle cigarettes and ... other things ... when he comes slinking back to Hogwarts after a visit to the Knockturn Alley brothels. I pitied him then, and I pitied him even more when Albus sent me to spy on the werewolves and I learned what a shitty, thankless, dangerous job a spy does, when I learned how Voldemort punishes his servants if they disappoint him - Greyback has been punished plenty of times, the werewolves gossip about it – when I thought that every time the Order foiled one of Voldemort's schemes, Severus got a dose of the Cruciatus Curse.

And if I'm honest with myself, I'm afraid of Severus, he's _dangerous_, and maybe even a little bit mad, Sirius got the wrong idea about him in the Shrieking Shack, the kids were only able to disarm him because it was three against one and he didn't think for a minute they were a threat. I kept trying to tell Sirius to leave him alone, but Sirius wouldn't listen, he was so keen to prove himself after all those years in Azkaban, if Sirius had duelled with him last year in the kitchen at Headquarters, he would have killed Sirius.

The phoenix starts to sing and they all fall silent, he forgets his thoughts, and it seems a long time later that the hospital door opens and Minerva enters the ward. She tells them that Molly and Arthur are on their way, and the spell is broken. She asks Harry what happened, and Harry tells her, "Snape killed Dumbledore."

Minerva is as shocked as he was at the news, she stares at Harry for a moment, then sways alarmingly. Poppy conjures a chair and pushes it under her just in time.

"Snape," she repeats faintly, falling into the chair. "We all wondered … but he trusted … always … _Snape_ … I can't believe it …"

He remembers another Christmas, he remembers saying goodbye to Harry after the Christmas when Arthur was bitten by Voldemort's snake, when he'd told Harry that Severus was a superb Occlumens, and he thinks, if Severus was good enough to deceive Voldemort, he was good enough to deceive Albus, and maybe he's been playing both ends against the middle, just waiting to see which side will win.

He says, harshly, "Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens. We always knew that."

Tonks whispers that Albus must have known something about Severus that no one else did, and Minerva mutters that Albus always hinted that he had a reason for trusting Severus, a reason for believing that his repentance was genuine.

Harry is saying that he knows why Albus trusted Severus – that Severus passed Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down Lily and James, and when he realised what he'd done, Severus was sorry.

He's stunned, he thinks, I don't believe this, no one who was at school with us would believe this, James and Severus hated each other from the moment that Severus and Sirius clashed so badly in our first week at Hogwarts.

He remembers how the fight started, the Slytherins had taunted Sirius for being Sorted into Gryffindor, a son of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, _toujours pur_, Sorted into Gryffindor, it was unheard of. Sirius had retaliated, he'd picked on Severus, sneered that he had never heard of a pureblood family by the name of Snape, and said, "Are you Muggle-born, Snape, I bet you're the first Mudblood ever to be Sorted into Slytherin," and Severus had gone berserk. He'd disarmed Sirius and then smashed every bone in Sirius' right arm and hand with a bone-breaking curse most of the seventh years wouldn't have even heard of. That incident certainly put an end to speculation about his background, it was generally believed that his father was a refugee who had lost everything in the war against Grindelwald and Severus was never heard to deny it, but it had made an enemy out of James, from that moment James decided that Severus was a nasty little coward, using a Dark spell like that on someone who'd been disarmed, someone who was helpless.

He thinks, James was always so quick to make up his mind about people, in that first week he decided that he liked me, that he fancied a certain red-haired Muggle-born girl - a girl who ignored him for the next six years – and that he hated that greasy little foreign git, Severus Snape - and Severus returned the feeling, with interest. If anything, he hated James more than he hated Sirius. Severus loathed Sirius, but he really _hated_ James, jealous of his Quidditch prowess, perhaps, James was a demon on a broom and Severus was such a twitchy, awkward teenager until he turned seventeen, came of age, and turned into a graceful, dangerous young man, the kind of young man that girls noticed ... he wasn't desperate and dateless, not like me. Severus and Sirius were the bad boys of our year but plenty of pretty girls hung around them, I hope Harry never finds out what kind of a reputation Sirius had, but at least he didn't get caught shagging a girl behind the greenhouses ... I'll never understand women, I'll never get what sweet little Florence saw in Severus, he treated her like dirt. That was so long ago .. poor little Florence, I was keen on her, and now I can't even remember her surname.

"And Dumbledore believed that?" he says incredulously. "Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape _hated_ James …"

Harry has more to say, "And he didn't think my mother was worth a damn, either … because she was Muggle-born … 'Mudblood', he called her."

He remembers when Harry told him and Sirius that he'd seen that memory in the Pensieve, and he thinks, why did Severus choose to hide _that_ memory? I stopped James from taking Severus' underpants off, OK, I'm not proud of that incident and Minerva had a word with me about it afterwards, but worse things happened between Severus and James than that, what about the time that James broke Severus' nose, he always hated Muggle duelling worse than hexes, and James and Sirius knew it, neither of them ever missed an opportunity to rough him up, Muggle-style, if they could get his wand away from him ... James broke his nose in third year, and Severus couldn't stop himself from crying, that's how he got that cruel nick-name "Snivellus". Why didn't he hide that memory?

And he realizes, with a sudden, uncomfortable, flash of insight, whatever Severus is, he's not a coward, he was the perfect victim because he always showed defiance, he always fought back, but he couldn't take on all four of us – even though Peter and I never did much, we were _there_ – tormenting him was exciting, thrilling, but never really dangerous. It wasn't dangerous until we were in seventh year, until Severus came of age, James and Sirius stopped hexing him then, James stopped being such a jerk once he started going out with Lily, but Sirius was a little wary of Severus in our last year at Hogwarts, not that he would ever admit it.

Minerva is blaming herself, she's saying it's all her fault, for sending Filius to fetch Severus.

He thinks, don't blame yourself, Minerva, if Severus could fool Albus, he could fool anyone, and he certainly fooled _me_. And I shouldn't blame myself, either, Severus showed us what kind of a vicious little beast he was back in first year, that bone-breaking curse he used on Sirius could have killed him ... and he had the nerve to say that Sirius had proved himself capable of murder at the age of sixteen! He's a dirty opportunist, he was just waiting for his chance to get in with the winning side, he probably decided to throw in his lot with Voldemort when he heard that Death Eaters had managed to break into the castle ... and who knows what Voldemort has promised to give Severus when he's the Minister for Magic, maybe he promised Severus that he'd be Headmaster here when Hogwarts has been purged of the Mudbloods and the half-bloods, the ones that Voldemort thinks are unfit to be taught magic, the ones that Voldemort thinks are unfit to _exist_. Well, Severus, you've chosen your master now, and you'd better not have any regrets, there's no way back for you, there are no _third_ chances, and the Order and the Aurors will hunt you down like a dog if they can.

"It isn't your fault, Minerva," he says firmly. "We all wanted more help, we were glad to think Snape was on his way …"


	3. Chapter 3: Horace Slughorn

**Chapter 3: Horace**

It was nearly midnight when the fighting started, and he'd been asleep. He'd woken with a strong sense of dread, it was not so much that he could hear the sounds of the battle, but he could _feel_ it, feel the surges of aggressive magic, and he knew what it meant – Death Eaters in the castle. He'd cursed Albus, how could he have been so stupid as to let Albus talk him into coming out of hiding, and then he'd thought, if He Who Must Not Be Named dares to attack Hogwarts, if He dares to challenge Albus himself – then nowhere is safe, it would only be a matter of time before they found me.

What does Phineas Nigellus say about Slytherins, we are brave but not foolish, given a choice we will always choose to save ourselves? He snorts a little, and thinks, I haven't got a choice! He Who Must Not Be Named thinks that all Slytherins belong to him, a Slytherin who doesn't support Him is a traitor, the other Houses have no idea of the pressure that we're under, if you're Slytherin, He won't let you alone – you're either one of His victims or one of His supporters. He thinks, with a spasm of anger, He Who Must Not Be Named has brought shame on Slytherin, before the first war against Him being Sorted into Slytherin meant nothing worse than a healthy ambition to prove yourself, and now all Slytherins are regarded with suspicion, the other Houses hate us. He remembers the way that Harry Potter had looked at him when he told Harry that he was a Slytherin, that had been upsetting, especially since Lily Potter had been one of his greatest favourites. Lily had everything he looked for in a student except distinguished family connections, she had talent, brains, charm, and beauty, and with assets like that, being Muggle-born wasn't an insuperable obstacle - a girl could always marry into a good family, as Lily had done. Oh yes, Lily Potter would have gone far if He Who Must Not Be Named hadn't killed her.

He thinks, He Who Must Not Be Named killed Lily and tonight He might kill me ... He shivers at the thought but braces himself and thinks, well, it's been a good life, I made a difference, so many of my students went on to achieve great things, and not just Slytherins, I always picked out the brightest and the best for the Slug Club, I've never been blinded by that ridiculous pureblood prejudice. The pay here at Hogwarts was never anything much, even when I got an allowance for being a Head of House, but there were other compensations, my students never forget the help I've given them, and if there's any little thing I want in return, I only have to send an owl, and at Christmas I'm showered with gifts and invitations ...

He was a Head of House for years, and he knows his duty, he knows what he has to do, what he would do even if Severus hadn't asked him to do it, if it ever came to this, and he hurries down to the dungeons, to the Slytherin common room, puffing, because he's not as young and slim as he used to be. The common room is empty, except for one of the sixth year prefects, Pansy Parkinson – Draco Malfoy's would-be girlfriend, poor girl, when will she realize that he's pleased by the attention but not really interested - curled up on a chair, half asleep, so he shouts to her, the castle is under attack by Death Eaters, she is to wake the other prefects and do bed checks immediately, hopefully no students are breaking curfew, hopefully they're all here, where there's a chance that he can keep them safe.

Pansy becomes hysterical, she's been waiting up for Draco to come back, she's babbling something about a job that Draco was given to do by the Dark Lord. This is chilling information, though no more than he had feared, young Malfoy is following in his father's footsteps. Lucius Malfoy, what a devilishly charming and handsome boy he had been … he thinks, these beautiful boys have been my downfall, look at Tom Riddle, he took me in completely – he took all the staff in, except Albus – and what a monster he turned out to be!

He steps outside the common room door, wards it with numerous powerful spells, Transfigures himself into a suit of armor, and settles down to wait and to hope, to wait until the fight comes to him, and to hope that it never does. He's a little puzzled – the wards haven't gone down, so perhaps He Who Must Not Be Named hasn't come Himself, but how have Death Eaters managed to get into Hogwarts? He thinks, I daresay Severus is in the thick of the fighting, well he is quite capable of taking care of himself, he always has been. He hasn't forgotten that unfortunate incident in the corridor outside Minerva's classroom in Severus' first week at Hogwarts, when Severus disarmed Sirius Black, and Sirius had lost his temper, tried to punch Severus, and Severus had smashed every bone in Sirius' right arm and hand - so badly that Poppy had needed to remove them and re-grow them with Skele-Gro – with a bone-breaking curse that was to be found only in the texts in the Restricted Section of the library.

He thinks, sometimes I used to wonder if those boys had been mis-Sorted, Sirius was a natural Slytherin – a scion of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, _toujours pur_ – and Severus was as reckless as any Gryffindor when he was young, the rash way he feuded with the Marauders, one against four, he didn't learn to control his temper until after that awful business in the Shrieking Shack, I could never make him a prefect because of that temper. He and Albus had agonized over it for hours, he agreed with Albus that they couldn't let the truth come out, for young Lupin's sake – not that he had agreed with Albus' decision to let Lupin attend Hogwarts, for Merlin's sake he was a werewolf, he'd never amount to anything – and it would have been a pity to blight Sirius' career, certainly it was wrong what he did, very wrong, but he was such a high-spirited boy, such a good-looking, talented, personable boy, and boys will be boys ...

It had been a very awkward situation, and Severus had sulked dreadfully over it. Poor Severus, he was such an unprepossessing little creature for most of his school days - shabby, scrawny, hook-nosed and greasy-haired - but he had matured once he turned seventeen and came of age, of course he would never be _handsome_, not with that nose, but Severus had turned into a graceful, attractive young man, the kind of young man who so easily got himself into trouble with scheming trollops like that little Hufflepuff Florence … Florence, he can't remember her surname, not surprising, she was a complete nonentity, the only noteworthy thing she'd ever done was to seduce Severus behind the greenhouses.

Such a clever boy, and so gifted in his own field of Potions, Severus was a pleasure to teach, though he did get dreadfully bored in class. It was the most obvious thing in the world to rearrange the timetable in his NEWT year, put the Slytherins and Gryffindors together, team Severus with Lily, and let them work on their own projects. He hadn't been worried about having James Potter and Severus in the same class, though the other staff had rolled their eyes, James needed to scrape a pass mark in Potions to get into the Auror Corps, and he was hopeless at Potions, James couldn't afford to be disruptive in class in his NEWT year. Yes, young Harry might be the spitting image of James, but he gets his ability in Potions from Lily. Hmm, he's heard that Severus can be very harsh with Harry, the old rivalry with James will be at the bottom of that, but he would have thought that Severus would have been able to remember how close he'd been to Lily and not bear _quite_ such a grudge against the boy, and Harry is such a dear boy, it's a joy to have him in the class and he's a real addition to the Slug Club, even if he hasn't been able to attend many gatherings ...

He'd known that Severus would work well with Lily once he got to know her, how could he not like her, everyone who ever met her liked her! Delightful girl! And Severus had only called Lily a Mudblood because he was so ashamed of his Muggle father. He thinks, Muggle-borns are unknown in Slytherin and half-bloods are rare, in all my time at Hogwarts there were only three, but all of them very talented boys indeed - Tom Riddle, Alastor Moody and Severus Snape.

He has to admit he was also playing at match-maker when he put Severus and Lily together, why not, he's engineered any number of successful marriages, very discreetly of course, and he smirks with satisfaction when he thinks of the number of Hogwarts students who wouldn't exist if he hadn't taken an interest in _every_ aspect of his favourites' lives ... That hadn't worked quite to plan, Lily had started going out with James Potter at the beginning of the year - James had been a good match for her, a very nice-looking boy, excellent family, exceptionally talented in Transfiguration, he could have played Quidditch professionally if he hadn't wanted to be an Auror, and Head Boy, to boot - but Lily had become friends with Severus, she could see that really he was quite shy and insecure, and rather lonely, he didn't have close friends in his classes, and his cleverness was almost more of a burden than an advantage, it was just another thing that set him apart from the other Slytherins in his year, they had been a very disappointing lot, none of them showed any promise at all.

Yes, Lily really was a special person, she hadn't been put off by Severus' reputation for being interested in the Dark Arts, after all it was only to be expected that the boy would be interested in the Dark Arts, wizards of a certain calibre always are. He thinks, I know a great deal about the Dark Arts myself, purely theoretical of course, but my knowledge is extensive, and of course there are different opinions as to what are the Dark Arts, some people say Legilimency is a Dark Art, but Albus is an expert practitioner, and I know something of it myself, it's damnably useful when you're dealing with students, constantly lying to you about assignments they haven't handed in. I'm glad I taught Legilimency to Severus - I hardly had to teach him Occlumency, he was a natural - since he ended up a professor, though he's nowhere near as popular a Head of House as I was, of course.

He sighs when he remembers Severus telling him that he wanted to be a Gringotts curse breaker, and he'd realised – the poor boy doesn't know, he doesn't know his grandfather was sentenced to life imprisonment in Azkaban for breaking into Gringotts, and the goblins have long memories, not even I can help him, they'll never give a job to the grandson of the man who robbed them. Never mind, Severus has done all right for himself, Potions Master at Hogwarts, very well respected in the profession, he's one of only half a dozen wizards in the whole of Europe who can brew the Wolfsbane Potion, and if I'm not mistaken, he'll be Headmaster after Albus. One day when He Who Must Not Be Named is gone and Albus is ready to retire, Severus will be Headmaster, the first Slytherin Headmaster since Phineas Nigellus – if the Board of Governors and the Ministry can overlook his past, if they can overlook the Dark Mark branded on his arm.

He thinks, the Dark Mark, there's no getting past that, it's definitely a problem, Severus made a grave mistake there, but he's redeemed himself. Of course I heard all about it from Alastor Moody at the time, Alastor told me everything noteworthy that happened in the Auror Office in those days – but Albus vouched for Severus before a full hearing of the Wizengamot, told everyone that Severus was no more a Death Eater than he was. It's true that Alastor wasn't convinced that Severus was spying on He Who Must Not Be Named for Albus and he did say something about unpleasant things in Severus' Ministry file, but Alastor - well, he went a bit odd after he lost his leg and even odder after he lost his eye, started acting very strangely - regretfully, I'm not as close to Alastor as I used to be. And Albus trusts Severus, Minerva may be the Deputy Headmistress, but it's Severus that Albus relies on, you only have to sit in on a staff meeting to see _that_. Albus couldn't make it clearer who his favourite is, when he stands behind Severus' chair and puts his hand on his shoulder, and Severus is devoted to Albus, I can tell, I've known him since he was eleven years old, I taught him for seven years, I know him better than he knows himself. He thinks, it's slightly galling to see how devoted Severus is to Albus, far more devoted than he ever was to me, after all the effort that I made with that boy!

He hears a tremendous crash in the distance, it sounds as if it's coming from the direction of the Astronomy Tower and he thinks, this is it ... but the wards are still holding, and not long afterwards the sounds of battle die away, so after it has been quiet for a while he unTransfigures himself and opens the common room door. All the students are gathered in a terrified huddle, the prefects report that only Draco Malfoy is missing, but he notices that Draco's little gang are all looking nervous and guilty, Crabbe and Goyle most of all, and those two look quite lost without Draco to tell them what to do, but there's no time to investigate further, he needs to find out what's going on in the rest of the castle. The Bloody Baron appears and he leaves the Slytherin ghost in charge, wards the common room door again, and heads up the stairs away from the dungeons.

He finds the corridor at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower has collapsed, the hex marks show that the fighting was fierce here, but there's no one around, and the damage is far too extensive for him to repair on the spot, so he keeps going, following the trail of destruction. He comes across Pomona trying to round up a gaggle of her Hufflepuffs, they're babbling excitedly about Death Eaters and Harry Potter, Pomona tells him that only a handful of Death Eaters were involved in the attack and the Aurors are expected to arrive shortly, so he leaves her to it, and heads towards the Entrance Hall. Students are wandering around aimlessly, but he ignores them – they're the responsibility of their own Heads of House.

Then he hears Fawkes singing his lament and he doesn't need to be told what _that_ means – Albus is dead. The only wizard that He Who Must Not Be Named ever feared is dead! This is dreadful, dreadful news – but how did it happen? Albus' hand was getting _worse_, not better, but even so ... how have He Who Must Not Be Named's servants managed to do what He could not do himself? And where is everybody? Students scattered everywhere, but where are Minerva and Severus?

He runs into Hagrid, who is in a terrible state, barely coherent, he seems utterly shattered by Albus' death, he tries to reassure Hagrid by telling him that the Ministry have been informed, and continues with his inspection of the castle. There seems to be relatively little structural damage apart from the mess at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower, the Gryffindor hour glass has been smashed and the oak doors to the Entrance Hall have been blasted open but that seems to be the extent of it – and the entrance doors were blasted _out_, not in ... it's very strange. Filius appears and together they start repairing the entrance doors, they've been smashed into splinters by a spell of terrific force, so it's quite a big job. They've only just finished when Hagrid reappears with Pomona, and asks them to come up to the Headmistress' office. It gives him a jolt to hear it said aloud – Minerva is Headmistress now. He thinks, I suppose Severus will be Deputy Headmaster, but he won't be happy about that, he won't be happy about playing second fiddle to Minerva.

He asks the others as they trudge up the stairs, "Where's Severus?" and they look at him, in pity and horror, and then they tell him, they tell him that Severus murdered Albus. He can't believe it, he simply can't believe it, but Filius tells him that Severus stunned him when he went to fetch him to join in the fight, and through his tears Hagrid tells him everything he know, tells him what Harry Potter has told him, tells him that he saw Severus and Draco Malfoy running down from the castle towards the gates, ahead of the Death Eaters, tells him that they found Albus' body at the foot of the Astronomy Tower. They walk through the door into the circular office at the top of the spiral staircase while he's still digesting the news, Minerva is waiting for them, one look at her face, one look in her eyes and he knows that it's true.

"Snape!" he ejaculates, pale and sweating. "Snape! I taught him! I thought I knew him!"


End file.
